Chris Dixon’s Introduction

My family vacation to Jamaica was one of my family most memorable experiences. We left for our trip on February 26, 2009 on a cool Thursday morning at 10:00am. We shuffled into the St. Louis Airport with our luggage waiting for our flight to departure. While waiting the children took potty breaks and I grabbed me a hot cup of wake up that was strong and bitter which was not a taste of delight. Our flight took off at 12:45pm and lasted for eternity. I kept looking out the window for the next eight hours thinking are we there yet. My legs turned lifeless and weak upon me standing at the end of the flight. We picked up our luggage at Jamaica International Airport and hitched a ride with the first white minivan cabbie we could to our hotel.

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Chris Dixon’s Introduction

  1. I can’t even sense a happy ending with this one…..now this is one I would love to continue to read. My complete body response became drab based on your example of, I’m not sure I want to be here….good intro

  2. Seems like this family activity was a time that had been planned into great details and had been carefully thought out. It had to be exciting for the children to get to airport and go through the check points. You were probably tired from all the getting ready that you had to do.

  3. I want to know do I have good sentence structure, am I giving enough details, do my writing need any change or to much information at once. I want to re-learn how to write because I haven’t in many years. Please don’t be afraid to give honest oppions, trying to better my writing and thinking skills. Thanks

    • I agree, my writing skill are not the greatest. In todays society it depends on what you do daily. Will I exercise thoses skills? Probably not. Work places today has pre-written or standard letters that you maybe required to use, so what happens to our skill they go unused. Therefore when it comes time to use them we are lost.

      • That is very true Mrs. Vickie. I been working at a hospital for the last eleven years, we use computers daily but we use medical terminology and abreviations for most of our writings. Doing that on a daily basis all my writing skills have left but I’m here to work on it and regain my writing and thinking skills above the hospital settings.

  4. Chris, the detail about the coffee is great as it’s both vivid and gives the reader a sense of your voice or identity. You might try reading the essay out loud to catch mistakes like using “departure” for “depart.” Often, when we write and are so close to our material, we need a fresh perspective, which sometimes means having someone else read the paper or reading it ourselves in a new way.

  5. It’s descriptive. You give detail on the morning being, “cool”. Don’t be afraid to go further with something like, “crisp and cool” or “the morning had a cutting chill to it”. Expand on the details a bit further. The use of qoutes is important too such as “I asked myself, are we there yet” and lastly, don’t forget your question marks:) Dr. Agnew will have to expand on the use of qoutes as I am a rookie! I like it overall and really want to know more about your trip. See you Monday and thank you for sharing.

  6. The first paragraph leaves me wanting more. I cant wait to read the reminder of the story. Based on the intial paragraph it sounds like the trip was layered with excitement. As a coffee drinker, your description of the coffee left me thirsty.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s